From: somebody who needs it knocked into their head that sending chain mail is not real friendship!
To:
Subject: Fw: Real Friend Test

-Clue: Friends don't "test" each other, please stop buying into this garbage; quit passing it on and I don't mean just to me, I mean, stop sending fake friendship chain mail! Stop sending chain mail, period! You'll make a lot of people happy!

-If you were a "real" friend you'd know better than to send this crud!

*Cut rest of fluffy simple friend sayings, gotten them countless times before!*

Please people, I've gotten this preachy "simple friend vs real/true friend" chain mail in my inbox from so many suckers for this sap, so many times over the years, and I'm not impressed by it! What's with these people sending this junk repeatedly!? Do they really feel so inept as friends that they feel they must pass this on and hope their friends will think of them as friends? Or do they really think so little of their friends that they feel their friends are in serious need of being preached at by pieces of spam telling them how to be friends!?

Let's scrap the pstale fluffy spam that millions of people are passing on to their mostest very truest bestest "friends" and cut to the chase.

-A simple friend
-passes on chain mail.

-A real friend
-sends you emails they actually write! what a concept.

-A simple friend

Continues passing on forwards, believing they will give good luck and friendship

A real friend

-knows that chain mail is no substitute for friendship.

-A simple friend

-Refuses to see the damage being done to friendship by repeatedly sending chain mail.

-A real friend

Knows better than to insult their friend's character and intelligence so won't send "friendship" chain mail telling them how to be a friend.

-A simple friend

-Believes that the more copies of a friendship chain you get back determines the number of friends you have.

-A real friend knows better.

-A simple friend

-Believes spamming his/her contacts with fwds is true friendship.

-A real friend knows better.

-A simple friend

-Believes every chain mail is more valuable than their own personally written email.

-A real friend doesn't settle for friendship chain mail spam and doesn't expect his/her friends to either.

-And while we're at it, let's tackle the "I've Learned" and "I Believe" chain mail as well. They're full of similar sayings that I've received as many times from as many people who all thought they were sending me something absolutely fantastic!

-I've learned

-chain mail forwards are destroying the art of communication on the internet and they are as impersonal as a canned voice mail message or TV commercial.

-I've learned

-That people are suckered on a massive scale by chain mail and it seems to be an addiction to them.

-I've learned

-That people are hypocrites when they send preachy forwards about what friendship is and and that's the only time I ever hear from them!

-I believe

-That to get friendship you must be a friend, and to be a friend you must send your own personally written email and not chain letters that judge your character based on how many people you spam and how many copies you get back.

-I believe

-That mentioning God in a chain letter that "tests" your friendship or tells you you'll get good luck and friends if you forward it far and wide is profane!

-I believe

-That no one should suffer the indignity of receiving chain mail that insults their intelligence, character, and makes fools of the people who pass it on in the first place.

-No end to the copies of the same chain mail clogging the net if everyone is idiot enough to actually follow this insane idea, and caring has absolutely nothing to do with reproducing millions of copies of the same stupid forward!

-Wrong! This chain mail is driving us apart! I've tried to tell you so many times to stop sending this stuff! you just keep on sending it, as if I need to be tested, as if you think I'm a fool who actually believes this chain mail will suddenly magically make me a better friend, as if you think it has made you a better friend - well guess what? It hasn't, doesn't, and won't!

-And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, you will probably continue to pass on every stupid piece of chain mail that lands in your inbox because the words "friendship" or "friend" or "God" "Prayer" "Jesus Christ" and the phrases "Pass it on!" "Send this to all your friends!" and any other variation of such, is in it somewhere!

Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you...

-No, I'm not a "simple friend" I won't do anything so sanctimonious, inconsiderate and just plain foolish!

-Nooooooooo kidding! That's what chain mail fwds are all about! That's the goal of every chain mail, to reproduce itself by the millions and clog up the internet! It is a request I will not honor!

-Excuse me while I blow my stack! This is another thing I hate about these spams, they use and abuse God's name in order to sucker religious people into spamming all their friends with this junk!

-Just like in the "Road Rose" chain mail you sent a month ago, right. Do you never actually read and realize how repetitive this stuff is? Yes, one chain mail borrows words and phrases from another, too! Thought you were sending me something spectacular? You've just sent me a chain mail that contains a rip off of another chain mail! Yes, some of us do have memories that aren't damaged by the wild rush of whatever it is that makes forwarders forward!

-And if you want to be a real friend and to have real friends, hopefully you will eventually "decide" to stop sending "friendship" spam and all other chain letters - to anyone! Until then, don't expect me to come over and raid your fridge the way a "real/true friend" should!

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