As usual, I can find plenty wrong with this chain, starting with the fact it's yet another religious chain with a simplistic story that belongs in junior worship, that's for kids 8 and under. Why adults are so enamoured with this simple-minded sap just confounds me.
From: a forwarder
Subject: Fw: 7%
Subject: 7%
"Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like." The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."
-Solution to the long-handled spoon problem: get a grip further down the handle and cut the long part off! Weird setup anyway, spoons strapped to their arms? Doesn't make sense. Oh, but it's chain mail, it's not supposed to make sense. How about loosing or simply ditching the straps altogether? This isn't hell, it's just a case of people too brain-incapacitated to feed themselves! I can think of a lot worse visions that would fit the bill for hell, but I'm not writing them down here.
same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large
pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were
equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were
well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand." "It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."
-Uhm, excuse me, but when was the last time a group of people got together at a banquet or party and engaged in feeding each other stew from a pot with long-handled spoons? So does this mean you're greedy and bound for hell if you feed yourself now? Gah, what nonsense.
-I can just see it now, person A reaches into the pot to feed Person C across from her, while B has just dipped a spoon for D. The four-way spoon-feed results in a collision in which Person D ends up with stew all down the front of her shirt while B has lost the grip on his handle and it ends up in the pot. C turns her head in surprise just as A is about to put the spoon in her mouth and she gets it in her ear instead.
-Also, I can think of foods that come a lot closer to heavenly or hellish than a pot of stew.
-Common knowledge among Christians!
If you are one of
-Clue: I do not need or appreciate chain mail that judges me on my Christian merit on the basis if I forward some badly thought out religious spam or not! Nor do I appreciate my friends letting themselves be so easily manipulated into clogging up the net with junk. People, forwarding so-called Christian or any other chain mail does not make you a better Christian, it doesn't even make you LOOK like one! All it proves is that you know how to forward chain mail and you do it impulsively! And where in the heck does this so-called 7% stat come from? I'll tell you where, the chain letter creator made it up. Or some gullible forwarder along the way added it in for embellishment. Because contrary to what all these religious junkmails claim, religious chain letters are definitely not in the small minority of junk getting forwarded around the net. I don't know the statistics for all people and am not arrogant enough to assume I do, but in my experience, I'd estimate that at least 50/75% of junk fwds I get have some religious reference in them, and what's so offensive is how they judge you as not being a good enough Christian if you don't spam the net with tons of copies of it.
93% of
First of all, how can you even be sure every single person on earth has received it? And wouldn't it be nice if only it was true that 93% of netizens wouldn't forward chain mail! Unfortunately, the percentage of forwarders is likely to remain high, because there are always newbies who haven't learned about chain mail, plus people who know about it, but don't care a wit that it's really junk, choosing to remain in the constant state of self-delusion that they're somehow doing the world this very great great service and that they'll get brownie points and be thought of as absolutely great simply by spamming the net with this bilge.
James D. wrote some hilarious improvements to this glurge on the Snopes message board where this glurge was posted for discussion.
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