On Line Friend

-Or are you?

I had some free time, so what did I do?
I checked the computer to see if I'd heard from you!

-Nevermind that I haven't heard from you in ages, now you send me this fwd that says you check your email to see if you've heard from me?

I used to walk out to a box to retrieve mail.
But I'd rather get it instantly, than wait on the snail!

-Me too, as long as it isn't chain mail!

Checking my e-mail is always fun!
I usually get a joke or greeting from someone.

-Checking email is fun
-If I get written notes and no fwds and other spam from anyone!

I feel so blessed because on the other end,
I know I've connected with a friend!

-Unless it's chain email which is communication's end.

When I've had a hard day and need to share,
Here I can find a friend who will listen and care.

-You haven't shared much of anything lately and sending me a fwd isn't sharing so why should I be flattered when it claims I care? Simply receiving an fwd in my inbox makes me a caring person? No. It just makes me a recipiant of a sappy friendship chain yet again.

And to this friend I hope I've let them know
That I am always there for them also!

-No, sorry, you haven't. All you've done is show you send chain email. You can show you care by writing your own emails instead!

Isn't it a strange kind of bond we form?
It isn't exactly like the "norm"!

-A bond via chain letter is nothing like the norm, it isn't even a bond. Real friendship doesn't consist of sending canned messages you didn't write and that other very bestest friends are posting far and wide all over the net to their one and only truest bestest most bonded in chain email friends! Please, argh, give me something real!

But, where is it written, face to face we must be,
For you to be a very good friend to me??

-Whoever said it was written at all in the first place? Please, I'm not that superficial! Yes, I know all about email friends. Yes, I know what friendship is. Yes, I know how to be a friend. Yes, I want friends. Yes, I do have friends on the internet that I've met in real life, and friends in real life who are also on the net. Yes, I have friends I've only written online. But I do not need or appreciate friendship chain email, I do know the difference between it and the email written by a real friend!

-So unless you never want to hear from me again, don't send me this crap!

That little joke or note, or just a simple "Hi",
Could be like a ray of sunshine from the sky!

-Only if it's written by you and not some friendship fwd!

So my online pals, this is dedicated to you,
For all the smiles you have made anew!

-Show your gratitude with a personally written thank you or other personal email instead. Let's face it, you haven't written me in a long time, I haven't written you either, not because I didn't want to, but my email life has been insane lately what with running email lists and deleting spam, surfing the web looking for material for a site, and then there's my offline life which also takes up time too. So, it's true, I haven't emailed you in a while. But if you wanted to contact me, you could've done it in a way that wasn't so offensive!

May our friendship continue to grow,
And the warmth we feel continue to flow!

-And that will only happen if the next time you get a stupid friendship email that tells you you're a great friend and you can be a great friend by passing it along, you just say "NO!"

Always remember this...
A smile is such an easy thing to pass along the way,
Like a ray of summer sunshine,
On a somewhat gloomy day!!

-Someone pass me the barf bag, and then a punching bag! Please, I know what a smile is. I know how to smile and how to make people smile. But you have wiped any trace of a smile off my face by passing on this drippy piece of chain email! You haven't made me smile, I thought you should know! You would have made me smile with a personally written "Hello there, how have you been doing?" or something like that instead of this corny poetry, false friendship flattery and essay on what friendship is and what smiles are and how to spread them around. No, spreading fwds around does not spread smiles and friendship no matter how many people get sucked into thinking that. Get too many of these things over the years and maybe someday you'll understand my annoyance at people for sending this stuff instead of actually putting an effort into being a friend and sending their own emails!

Thank you for being my Online Friend!!!

-Thank you for wrecking my online day!

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