It's hard to believe people actually post this crud as is, to their blogs.

But they do.

Technically, I'm guilty of the same thing - but here's the difference. Unlike those who actually think chain letters are something great and go posting them with comments agreeing with them, or with no comments at all, I am going to tear this one apart. It's time somebody on the blogosphere calls chain letters for what they are and why...

--

1. Girl's always smell good even if it is just shampoo

-Obviously you've never been around girls after an intense workout, or girls with obnoxious perfume, or better still, bad breath!

2. The way their head always finds the right spot on our shoulders

-Er, uhm....My head tends to stay on my own shoulders and isn't likely to find a spot on somebody else's. That would make me headless and the other person a two-header. Cool - not...

3. How cute they look when they sleep

-Oh, sure, especially when they do things like snore, drool, let air, or toss the blankets off.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

-Not this girl...

5. The way they kiss you and all of sudden everything in the world is right

-Again, not this girl...

6. How cute they are when they eat

-Meh - stick a fork or spoon into a bowl or plate, get food on it, open mouth, insert fork/spoon, remove food from it with mouth, take spoon/fork out of mouth, chew, swallow, smile if the food's to one's liking, make a face if it isn't...What's so cute about that? Do guys not eat pretty much the same way?

7. The way it takes them hours to get dressed but in the end it's all worth while

-Uh, no, not this girl. I'm the grab a comfy, practical pair of pants and a top that go nicely together and put them on, and that takes less than a minute if I'm in a hurry.

8. Because they are always warm even if it's -30 outside

-Uhm no, again, definitely not this girl!

9. They look good no matter what they wear

-I doubt I'd look good in something way too tight or way too loose. Neither would I look good in anything indecent to go out in public.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on earth

-Again, not this girl! I take my compliments with gratitude like most people, but sure don't go fishing for compliments - I simply don't need my ego stroked or to be flattered.

11. How cute they are when they argue

-You haven't seen me lose my temper. It's anything but "cute".

-It's also an astoundingly stupid move on your part, telling a girl she's cute when you're arguing with her. It implies a number of things - 1. you get off on fighting with her or 2. You think she's such an air-headed bimbo so desperate for an ego-stroke that she'll just settle down, kiss you, and be so grateful for the compliment that she'll stop arguing with you so that you'll win. WRONG!

12. The way her hand always finds yours

-It's an odd creature that makes a habit of losing his hand to be "found" by some girl. Got two of my own anyway, so why would I even try to find yours?

13. The way they smile

-"Cute" when she argues, "cute" when she smiles, you can't seem to make up your mind, can you?

14. The way you feel after you see her name on your cell after you just had a big fight

-Not this girl, I tend not to communicate with people I'm too upset with. But as to your feelings, well, speak for yourself.

15. The way they say "lets not fight anymore"- even though you know that an hour later...

-An hour later, what? And I don't remember ever uttering that phrase during any disagreement with anyone.

16. The way they kiss you after a fight

-EWW - no!

17. The way they kiss you after you say "i love you"

-I don't go around kissing people at the drop of a few words.

18. Actually..The way they kiss you...

-Again, not...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

-I rarely cry, and when I do, I prefer to be alone...So I'm not going to do the stereotypical damsel in distress crying thing like what you're more likely to see on TV or in the movies.

20. The way they apologize after crying over something that silly

-That's an adult thing - people generally get a little embarrassed when others see them cry.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt *i think every girl is guilty of this! :)

-Dude, I haven't hit anyone since grade school.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it)

-I never apologized either.

23. The way they say "i miss you"

-Nope, not this girl.

24. The way you miss them

-Well, I guess you can speak for yourself, then...

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so it doesn't hurt her anymore.

-I've noticed you keep saying "they" as if you - well, nevermind, I'll come back to that later, but again, speak for yourself.

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them, it matters not! Because once in your life, whatever they are to the world, they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, travel the depths of their souls and say a million things without trace of sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beats of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper do it justice. It is a thing of not the mind but the heart.

-My my, but you have got it bad for some chick, dude...Thank goodness it isn't me!

A feeling.

Only felt.

-Point being?

-But back to what I was saying before about your "they" throughout this unbelievably gushy chain letter drivel - so, you must've experienced this stuff with a lot of girls in order to generalize, because you chose the girls who you figured would be "cute" enough for you...Or you started trying to get a relationship and each time, it never panned out, so you went on to the next...

This chain started in 2002.

-And it should've ended in 2002, preferably before it was ever circulated...

It is a chain love letter.

-There is no such thing. A "love letter" is private, only for the one you love, and a "chain letter" always aims to get mass-produced to as much of the world as possible, and has nothing whatsoever to do with love, and everything to do with egomaniacs trying to control the masses.

In an hour you are supposed to repost this.

-That statement proves what I just said.

Now here comes the fun part.

-Dude, reality check: You're in serious need of a life if this is your idea of "fun".

You then say the name of the person you love or like, then the person will say "I love you" or "would you go out with me". NO JOKE!!!

-If you want that to work, you better go to Hollywood and submit this as a script, because you can't predict or control what exact words come out of the mouth of anybody otherwise...

NOW THE CONQUENCES!!!

-The what? Oh, you mean the chain letter threat. Well then, why not just call it a threat since it's easier for you to spell than "consequences" obviously...

The conquences are:

-And you did it again. Please, don't use words you can't spell, it only gives people something else besides the fact this is a stupid chain letter to roll their eyes and laugh at.

If you break this chain letter, you will have bad luck with future relationships.

-Hogwash. But, if you continue passing on or originating chain letters, you may very well end up having trouble with relationships, starting with the loss of friends who get annoyed and even embarrassed by your stupidity in spreading this junk.

If you dont, you will be a happy camper.

-I'm amazed how anyone with two brain cells to rub together would actually believe this bull.

Congratulations!!

-I don't recall sharing anything with you that might cause you to congradulate me...

You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and LUCKIEST chain letter ever written on the internet.

-That's what a lot of chain letters say. I know better. Reality check: it's a big lie, all chain letters are bunk.

Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (within the hour) post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls?"

-You have a heck of a huge ego and a lot of arrogant nerve to tell other people when to post what, and what to title the post.

After you send it, make a wish and it will come true

-Typical big stinking chain letter lie. Of course no wish will come true after you send it on, it's not like these things are so powerful that they have magic in them that makes wishes come true whether you spread it or not.

-As far as a wish, I do have one - that everybody on the planet would wise up and stop passing on this junk.

-But people forward crap on to their friends via email, they even post chain letters on their blogs, journals, Myspace, Facebook notes. It's one thing to dissect and debunk a chain letter, and discourage the spreading of it. But simply posting a chain because it tells you to, and gives you all kinds of phony promises for posting/forwarding, and threats for not doing so is stupid.

-When you forward a chain letter, you are showing your friends how gullible you are, and you are decreasing the value of your emails.
Myspace, probably the biggest, and certainly the most notorious social networking site has many things wrong with it.

To start with, like all social networks, it encourages people to engage in ego competition, friend collecting, top friends, who can get the most visited profile, which group can get the most members etc.

They also have some serious additional problems.

1. They are inaccessible to the vision impaired and are doing their best to make sure it stays that way.
2. They try shutting down or suing other more useful and user-friendly sites. This includes at least one site that is trying to develop software for helping the blind to solve those horrible image codes AKA captchas, which are not blocking spam, they are high tech discrimination against the visually impaired and other special needs.
3. Their customer support is nonexistent.
4. They have a reputation for promoting porn.
5. "bulletins" which are in actuality nothing but chain letters that spread through Myspace.
6. Due to all of the above, Myspace presents one of the greatest threat to human brain cells on a massive scale, all over the internet.

This page will deal mostly with Myspace bulletin chains, but include other issues too. Some links will be my dissections of bulletins, or links to discussions and other people sounding off about them. Other links will address other concerns such as Myspace's willful inaccessibility problems and sad lack in customer support.

Ashley Flores and Evan Trembley
Hoaxes that started on Myspace and borrowed heavily from previous chain letters. Also, a Canadian version of Evan Trembley is featured in the article.

Myspacers Who Dislike Chain Letter Bulletins
Yes, they really do exist!

I'm sorry
To Every Girl
True Boyfriend
When a Girl or Guy

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