It isn't often that I get a gender related piece of chain mail that favors men, but once in a long while, it happens, in the instances of a man on a mailing list being stupid enough to post chain mail. What's funny about this is there are a lot of women on the list I saw this posted to, and one of them nearly died laughing.

If the poster of this chain mail was a nice guy to begin with, I would've left his email addy out of the From field, but he is a flaming idiot called Mike Sims. A flamer who is also stupid ehough to send chain mail does not deserve any sort of anonimity.

From: "Mike Sims" mikiedlov@yahoo.com
To: "Email _ PenPals" ; ; ; "Penpalsaround World" ; "Pen" ; "Pen Pals"
Subject: Fwd: Fw: MEN'S ANSWER TO MAXINE( semi adult)p

-None of these addresses are people I know from a hole in the ground, but that's how easy it is to get complete strangers' email addresses when people send chain mail to people in their address book plus publically available mailing lists/communities/groups on listservs like Yahoogroups.

-If you do, you're not a man as far as I'm concerned.

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

-Well, why not? If chain mail favoring women can use the "You're being hard done by because you're a woman, so strike back and spam the net!" so can pro-male chain mail, right?

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it

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-Why? Because you're too busy passing on and possibly originating dumb chain letters to open your own darn beer? If you don't open it yourself and there's nothing physically keeping you from doing so, you're not old enough to have beer. Wait about four more years and then you just might be eligable for pree-school. For now, stay in your cradle, shut up and drink your milk.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

-Newsflash: it takes money to use a laundromat! Suggestion for you: lay off the beer, get off your lazy butt and get a job! What a novel concept! Oh, you have to finish school first...

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

-Uhm no, women have smaller feet because they are generally smaller than men, period. DUH! For that matter, men have longer arms so they can reach the stove and kitchen sink better, so, there!

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

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-Roflol Dream on!

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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-And a good clock over your head with the nearest blunt object to knock some sense into you. BTW, about that watch, take it to the jeweler's for repairs!

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.

-Let me get this straight: if you talk less, you fart more? Wonder why I don't have a really really scary case of gas then after a long drive? What's the mouth got to do with the butthole anyway? Rubbish!

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

-Obviously you don't know dogs.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

-Only if you're a male Chauvinist pig...

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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

-And she didn't know your name was "GetMe A. Beer, either.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

-Well doofus, you're not supposed to have sex until you're married, so how would you know about any diminishes?

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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

-I've got a very different theory on that but you wouldn't like it. It involves men actually *gasp* showing emotion.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.

-That's just looks - who cares?

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

-Sacreligious crap! Besides, ever heard of the Sabbath?

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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth!

-Well, there's gender specific chain mail, and then there's the real truth. If you want to send on truth, don't pass this on! Of course, if you're too dim to know the difference, this suggestion is likely to fall on deaf ears anyway.

AND MAXINE SAYS.....

-Only suckers pass on chain mail.

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