The "To My Friends/How to Stay Young" chain email

A thread about this chain that's good for a laugh is found at: http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=1846&goto=newpost

Subject: To my friends

-Oh yay...When a subject line reads like that, it's bound to be chain email.

We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we
are!

-Okay, since when does reading something over and over suddenly become part of me? Scary thought, I better make sure not to read anything too many times lest I start looking like I'm tattooed all over with letters! Besides, I think it's up to everyone individually to decide what they "need" thank you!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

-Newsflash: you can't "stay young" Everybody grows old if they live long enough!

1. Try everything twice.

-Why, because it's impossible to learn something or enjoy it on the first try? Come on, please! Let's try touching a hot stove and seeing if it burns like it did the last time! Duh! Or hmmm, I guess I should try that candy bar again to make sure I actually enjoyed it, because I really couldn't make up my mind the first time even though it was absolutely delicious, I have to get another one and try it twice to know for sure! Duhh! How about driving 100 MPH in a 65 MPH zone to see if I get a ticket like the last time! Wow, that trip around the world was a lot of fun, or, was it? Oh, must do it twice to be sure I had fun!

On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she
said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

-Who? A search on google brought up mostly many more copies of this same chain. Well, I'm sure she didn't actually live twice...

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this in
mind if you are one of those grouches;)

-Keep your friends from getting grouchy, and stop sending forwards! Don't tell me which friends to keep, I'll decide that for myself, thank you!

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

No, the devil's name is Satan/Lucifer/Bealzabub or however the heck that's spelled, anyway, who cares, unlike the writers of chain email, I don't have time for the devil, nuff said, NEXT! this statement is so stupid I don't know where to begin. What about people with physical andmental development problems who can't "learn" to read, write, walk, talk etc. Or what about the person who doesn't spend all their time studiously with their nose in the books? All of a sudden they've had a day where they maybe haven't learned something, and wham! They have a devil infested idle mind! Please! Yes, people generally learn new things throughout their lives, it's all part of the natural process, we don't need chain mail telling us to learn anything, however, you could learn not to send forwards!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

-I'll enjoy whatever I want, simple or complex, thank you!

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you
have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

-And if we live far apart or have busy schedules and can't organize lots and lots of time to get together for lots and lots of laughs, or one of us is feeling down, then what? And don't tell me how to laugh or when!

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

-Nothing like pointing out the most obviously obvious! For the love of all things good, who in the heck wrote this sap, and how mindless do they think people are? How mindless are they, for that matter? DUH! Are you going to tell me that black is dark and white is light, too?

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

-You don't have to tell me that, there are a few things I've managed to figure out without some chain email telling me so!

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

-Well - noooooooooooo kidding!

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

-And this also means not allowing forwarded chain email to put you on guilt trips either, so keep that in mind, because a lot of chain email specializes in laying guilt on you in the hopes you will forward it. Case in point, this very forward in its last suggestion about forgiveness.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

-No, don't pester or frighten them! Instead, show them you love them in your own time in your own way. I will show my love in my own way and will not go around saying "I love you!" countless times to everybody I happen to run into during a course of a day!

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

-So much for not going on a guilt trip if someone has been hurt and can't forgive because they're still being hurt or have been too badly hurt by some heinous people in the past, and yes, people sometimes do a heck of a lot worse than just making you cry, but you're supposed to forgive even if they're not sorry, as if they have no faults and things to own up for? I don't think so! Tell them to apologize for making somebody cry, because if they don't, they may never get another chance to. People who have been abused and made to cry and all manner of other things by bullies have committed suicide, and the bullies never got the chance to apologize. It cuts both ways, so chew on that for a while.

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