From: a forwarder
To: several addresses
Subject: Fw: Fw: Let's see if you read your mail

-You'd be better off sending a REAL email, like one with something you actually wrote. Then you'd know I read my email when I reply back. Chain mail usually results in posting out my frustration to this site and not writing back to the person who sent the offensive canned email. The exception is when it's an urban legend that I can reply back with an url to a hoax debunking site, and the particular ul.

(miles of header crap deleted)

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

-Find a more considerate friend and until then, do just fine on my own.

What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?

-Who knows? Who cares? Hopelessly ridiculous question that isn't even worth asking let alone trying to ponder. Life hands you happiness and sadness and never in a fixed ratio! Duh! That's what makes life different from, oh, say, a carnival ride with predictable twists and turns?

What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?

-I knew that was coming. What the heck is with these stupid canned friendship spams and their fixation on death of friend or oneself? It's like whoever writes this tripe has a really serious wish that everybody's best friends would die. I call that sick.

-As for what I'd do - nothing. There is nothing you can do to change anything or make a friend feel loved after s/he has already died. So again, stupid question.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.

-How? By becoming just another address in your list of chain mail recipiants? And I'm so special even though you might never talk to me again, why? Because you plan on giving up real conversation for sending chaim mail? That's not friendship, it's not even communication and it's definitely not special.

I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.

-I'd believe that if you actually wrote this in a personal email instead of passing it on in a friendship spam chain.

Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you.

-And clog the net with more insincere drivel you didn't write? Not! No, don't send it to anyone! Don't send it back to the person who sent it, because duh, who the heck wants five million copies of every dumb chain letter with this demand? If everybody did that, the net would crash and it's already clogged up with far too much chain mail junk as it is! A net crash would cripple sincere communication, businesses running servers, online businesses, the only upside to that is that a net crash would also stop all chain mail fwds from being circulated.

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend,

-And do it by taking the time to write them your own personal email or call them on the phone, give them an indication they are more to you than just an address on their junkmail recipiant list! Send real email, forget the chain mail! You'd be surprised at the fun, friendship and communication you can have!

someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all,

-Which is normal, everybody goes through the blues once in a while. Chain mail friendship spam won't cure it. To a netwise person, it not only makes the blues worse, it actually brings on a case of it.

just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing
somebody out there cares about you and always will.

-Right, somebody cares about you so much that all they can be bothered to do is send you immitation friendship chain emails that they also sent foolishly to everybody they ever emailed on the net, and the fact that other emailers all over the world are fooled into sending the same friendship spam because for some reason that just escapes me, people actually believe it's sincere. It isn't. It's a forward. It's a forward that's been copied, circulated, recopied and recirculated all over the place, it's not personal and it's no substitute for real emails, real friendship, and honest to goodness displays of caring! What's really depressing is when all friends can be bothered to do is send this junk instead of writing their own emails. Makes you feel so incredibly special, doesn't it?

In times of trouble, In times of need, If you are feeling SAD, You can count on me. I will give you a wink, Until you smile, give you a hug, And stand by your side. I'll be there for you till the end, I'll always and forever, be your f
riend!

-*YAWN* Yet another typical drippy poem, well, if the guilt-trip above about friends dying doesn't compell people into forwarding madness, everybody loves poetry, so this oughta do it, right? Not this time, I know the ultimate goal of this chain mail is not to make people feel good, the goal is to clutter up the net with millions of itself, and it uses the fake friendship angle to hook people. I'm not taking the hook. I will not forward this dreadful piece of unoriginal and poorly thought out piece of sap.

INSTANTLY WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS, YOU MUST SEND IT TO AT LEAST 10 FRIENDS, INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU!

-No, you mustn't. What did I just say about the goal of chain mail and the originators of these things? And do I have to ask again who the heck wants 5 million copies of the same message being sent back? Can we say "NETCCRASH"?

It's true, sometimes we forget to tell our special people that we love them

-And it's true, that we all too often forget to tell them how special they are because we're too busy sending chain mail we think will humor them instead of real messages of friendship written by us. It's true that recipiants of chain mail end up feeling very uncared for, with their intelligence being insulted, and with a strong sense of disappointment and embarrassment for the "friends" who were gullible enough to fall for and send them friendship or any other type of chain mail.

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